Day 15,16 & 17 (today)..

I havent written in this blog for a few days because of some good news happening in my life :)

Well........

WE GOT THE APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D w00t w00t!!!

We almost didnt get it, actually. Our current landlords are assholes, and talked shit on me and my man when the landlord of the new apartment called.

So, when we got the rejection phone call, i was in tears (after I hung up, of course.) Not just because we didnt get the apartment, but because it was based on bullshit lies.

Then, that lady called us back and said she talked to our landlord again and caught her in some lies & bullshit and decided to bypass what the landlord said, and gave us the apartment purley on good faith :) THERE ARE GOOD HONEST PEOPLE OUT THERE!!!!! And theres a few evil people out there too, as was proven.

Anyways, we sign the lease on Sunday. :) Cant wait!!! Oh, and we move in July 1st.

And on top of that good news, I also got a part-time online job as a sales rep. Its nothing major right now because its only commission-based pay (for now) but if it works out, and I like it and the company likes my work, then I will be switched to salary.

The bad parts about that is that i HAVE to get a new computer. This computer will NOT handle much, and I need a 2nd computer..a new computer. So, I'm going to save up money in May and buy one.

I kinda regret taking the position actually. One of the things that I love about being an independant contractor is my FREEDOM and with that company, I wouldnt have that. Im very tempted to back out before its too late. I'll sleep on it.

Anyways, still not smoking!! :) Doing good!!

~Jamie~

Day 14-big fight, hard to handle...

Day 14....this is a milestone for me (3 days then 7 then 14 then 1 month: those are milestones)
So i am very proud of myself for achieving this goal!! :)

Well, i went to bed at 1am last night, had a lot of trouble sleeping. I kept stressing over the new apartment, are our applications going to be accepted or denied? If its denied, thats a REALLY bad sign that we wont be able to move out to ANYWHERE for a while, and thats scares me!!!!! Then I started thinking about how me and the boyfriend havent slept in the same bed for months now (hes an EXTREMELY loud snorer and often wakes me up from another room, let alone, laying next to him.) I know its because hes about 75 pds overweight and if he would stop drinking soda all of the time and actually join the gym (in which he has a free 2 week pass to) then maybe his fat ass would shed a pound or two.

Anyways, I slept for a total of 3 1/2 hours when my alarm went off: its time to get up and go to that damn First Communion thing for his nephew. So, I wake up, i go out to the living room with the boyfriend is, and I start to ask him "hey...is there a dinner or something after church?" and he IMMEDIATLY responded with "I fuckin KNEW you weren't gonna fuckin go with me!!!"

I was in shock!! All i was going to ask him was if i could maybe stay home and catch a few more hours of sleep then have him pick me up for the dinner or whatever (if they had one), later. But instead, he got pissed off at me and when he said that, I just turned around and walked away.

That was at 8am.......he left at 10am.....its now 11pm......and hes still not home. Where hes at, I have no clue. Either he doesnt care to call to tell me hes okay, or hes dead from a car accident or something. Either way, nothing I can do about it, so fuck it....no point in stressing. I dont wanna see him tonight anyways. He pissed me off.

So, thats that. I've been buring off my energy all day by cleaning the apartment and such. Trying to turn that negative energy into something useful. Well, its almost time for bed, so I'm going to watch tv (which i havent been able to do in WEEKS cuz the boyfriend has the tv everyday, no matter what.) So im going to enjoy tv for once, and just chill out.

Laterz!
~Jamie~

Day 13-not chewing gum alot..

Day 13 and im starting to not need the gum and hard candys anymore.

The first week, i went through gum and hard candy like it was AIR lol But now, I actually forget that I have gum. I simply just replaced cigs with gum and now, I think Im done with the gum.

Now, tomorrow is going to suck! The boyfriend's nephew has his "First Communion" (its a Catholic thing..), and i have to go to church...i'll probably burst into flames when I walk in the doors since I work in porn, and havent been to church in YEARS and Im catholic :
The thing i HATE about his family is that EVERY FUCKIN GATHERING LASTS 10 HOURS!!!!! Every Sunday, his mom invites the whole family over for dinner, and I never go because its like going to a fuckin Family Reunion every week ARGGHHH!!! lol

Its going to be 10 hours of "Congratualations!" and food. Greatttttttt....all i need is to be around a ton of food :(

Well, im bringing A SHITLOAD OF GUM tomorrow to get me through my first stressful public situation. Wish me luck! lol

~Jamie~

Day 12-still having dreams..

Day 12 and im STILL having some fucked up, weird ass dreams.

Anyways, today was a really stressful day for me, me and the boyfriend got into a small fight, i started to cry (which is weird, im not a cry-person) and then I asked him if i could have a cigerette and he said no. lol

Its so weird how stress can triger the mental part of wanting to smoke.

So, i went to the gym tonight and i had a ONE HELL OF A GREAT WORKOUT! I took all my stress, all my anger, all my fears, all my fucked up dreams, and jogged like hell & lifted weights for over an hour!

I FELT GREAT! :D

Came home feeling like a million bucks :)

OKay, thats it for today.

~Jamie~

Day 11-had a dream that i smoked..

okay, so last night i had a dream that i got REALLY stressed out and then smoked a cigerette. I remember feeling so guilty about it, too. Thankfully, it was only a dream and not reality :)

anyways, had a pretty damn good day today. still chewing the gum and eating hard candy to keep my mouth busy. I had 1 craving all day today, and it was mid-afternoon after a meal. Other than that, no cravings, no thought about smoking at all.

i dont feel like im "fighting" anymore to stay smoke-free. it just comes so naturally to me now. im in a non-smoking routine now. and now i can run 3 miles at the gym, which i couldnt even do 1 mile when i was a smoker LOL

Okay, thats it for today! Laters~

~Jamie~

Day 10-breathing easy..

Day 10 and my lungs feel like a layer of crap have been lifted off of them. I can breathe really deep and feel good (instead of a slight cough).

Last night I went to the gym and i was able to jog for 3 miles with no (breathing) problems, however, my legs were killin me *lol*

I can barely walk today, my calfs are sooooo sore. :-( Not sure if I'll go to the gym tonight or not. I probably will just to lift weights, but i doubt i'll do any cardio/running.

I woke up today with the URGE (not a craving, there is a difference!) to light up a cigerette. But i didnt!! :) Last night, i also had an urge. I was sitting on my patio (around 11pm) and the windy breeze with the warm tempeture felt sooooo relaxing. And normally (when i was a smoker), i would have had a cig on the patio, enjoying the perfect night air. But instead, I took a deep breath, then came back inside and cleaned my apartment for a few minutes.

So, thats that. Had a couple urges lately, but I've been a "good girl" *lol*

Laterz
~Jamie~

Day 9-coughing up phlem..

Day 9

woke up today feeling kinda of congested, had a light cough....nothing major though. and now i'm coughing up phlem.......small brown "clots" of mucas....its DISGUSTING! But I guess this is my body just cleaning itself out, so its good. Oh, and i've been blowing my nost alot in the past 24 hours too. (maybe i'm coming down with a cold?? i dont know)


Last night I had a great workout at the gym. I did about 30 mins or so of some hard cardio and I felt great! Burned about 300+ calories, then I did my weight training for 30 mins. I LOVE "pumping iron" (only 35 pds LOL) but its a FANTASTIC stress reliver. Its a natural & healthy way to get all my stress out.

The boyfriend told me last night during dinner, that I've been doing really good with my "attitude" and that I havent been NEARLY as angry as I was when i was a smoker. Isnt that something?? I was a BITCH when i was a smoker, now I'm not! lol :) Woo hoo!!

Well, its a beautiful day outside today...around 75 degrees, light breeze, sunny...PERFECT DAY! So, i'm going to get offline and do something productive :-)

Laterz!
~Jamie~

8 days, 14 hours, 1 minute and 43 seconds smoke free.258 cigarettes not smoked.
$42.00 and 1 day, 23 hours of your life saved.

Day 8-passed "hell week"..

Day 8

well, i successfully passed (what they call) "Hell Week", which is the first 7 days of being Quit.
Last night i was an emotional WRECK! I was crying for every reason i could find lol Cried because I wanted a cat and cant have one (due to apartment restrictions), then tired of living in this shoe-box of an apartment, and about 100 different things. I even cried while watching "The Wedding Planner" on TBS..wtf?? LOL ::shrugs::

I knew that I was going to have an emotional day (its a withdrawl symptom in women) but I never thought it'd be this soon. Oh well, Im fine today :)

Dreams!! Oh my god, let me tell you...i've been having some WEIRD DREAMS since I quit smoking. Some feel VERY realistic to me, as if im in reality and not dream-land. And I've been dreaming EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Whats that all about?? heh..

So when I go to bed, I think to myself "i wonder what kind of fucked dream i'm gonna have tonight." But the dreams have been good, not nightmares. So thats good.

I kept pretty busy today. Woke up with a go-get'em attitude. So, i dragged the boyfriend outside with me, and guess what.......we went apartment shopping LMAO I guess my crying-fit yesterday woke us both up that we need a change, we need to move.

So, we looked at this GOREGOUS 2 bedroom/2 bathroom luxary apartment...it was PERFECT!! Has everything (and then some!) we wanted/needed. The price isnt too shabby either..around $850/month (we're paying $560/month now). Its a big jump, but well worth it!! :-) So, we crunched some numbers and we're able to afford it, the landlord we met today (that showed us the apartment) is very excited about us moving there. Its a very classy & quiet country (brand new) apartments, with cathedial ceilings, brand new carpeting, sound-proof walls, the whole 9 yards!! All we have to do now is come up with $130 for the application fee, see if we get approved, and if we do, then we have to deposit $850 AND pay the first months rent of $850 in July.

We'll know for sure in 2 weeks or so. I hope we get it :)

Anyways, HAD A GREAT DAY! NO CRAVINGS, NOTHING!! yayyyyyyyy!!!

Now i start on "Heck Week" (aka Week 2)

Laterz!
~Jamie~

Day 7-having cravings again..

Day 7

started to have cravings today, pretty bad actually. Its weird how stress and confusion can make a person think of smoking as a problem-solver (even if its just temporary). I guess i can see why drunks are...well, drunks!! Anything to delay or numb problems. Its a purely psychological additcion. I guess I havent got over the part.

I was doing more reading on that Quitnet.com site and theres people that have been struggling for years with quiting. Its like having a disease and fighting to get rid of it......for the rest of your life. But if you look at it from the OTHER side, you might not have much of a life if you're smoking. heh...ironic.

I've been more focused/clear headed lately, but Im stuggling with my work because I cant have privacy or silence for more 1 minute.

im too stressed out to type, its been a really shitty fucking day and its making me wanna smoke.

Laters!!
~Jamie~

Day 6-feel "normal" for once..

its Day 6...wow....day 6..almost a week smoke free!!

i feel pretty normal today...except for the fact that i sprained my wrist and im typing with 1 hand LOL which is rather annoying, considering i work online full time. *sigh*

smoking wise though, im doin good! been chewing alot less gum, starting to get over the mental addiction on my own now. i still think about smoking everday, but i never even come close to lightning up. the physcial adiction is gone so i'd probably get sick if i even started back up.

as i started typing this entry, i started to feel some chest pains...not sure if its a withrawl symptom or if its the hamburger i just ate LOL

im gonna get goin and try to relax for the night.
had a good day today. :)

~Jamie~

Day 5 -hmm..

not sure what to make of day 5, really.

ive been in this blahhhhhhhhhhhhh mood. not happy, but not sad.....just in a weird kind of numb mood.

i've been more focused lately, clear headed. But my cravings to smoke is still here. Not a physical craving, just a mental craving. i think the reason is because i never had that "one last smoke" before i quit. i just up-and-stopped. i dont think i mentally prepared myself to stop. i just had the WANT to stop (which is the most important thing to have....cuz if you dont have the want, you will fail!)

but the messed up part is that now i AM mentally prepared to stay smoke free from all reading on what smoking does to a person.

And I love feeling so healthy, i love the extra money in pocket, i love the way my clothes and apartment smell, the way i can SMELL EVERYTHING now, and the way food tastes is so much better now ,too.

I'm feeling a bit fatigued all of sudden. I think i'll lay down on the couch or something for a bit. Its weird how yesterday i had so much damn energy, and today i dont have much at all.

Hmm...weird. ::shrugs::

~Jamie~

Day 4-getting energy back..

Day 4

i woke up today EXTREMELY dizzy, like i was going to fall down..that lasted for a couple of hours actually.
Im still a little off-balance. Once again, i feel high...but a bad-kinda-high.

However, i'm starting to get my energy back...yayyyy!! yesterday i was soooooo depressed and un-motovated. Today, i feel good that I have some energy finally. I did my hair (which takes an hour everyday to do and i didnt do it yesterday), put on some makeup, and im about to do my laundry so that I can wear something (besides PJ's) around the house and Im going to clean a little bit.

The bad news: I gained 6 pds :( How the hell did i gain a whole 6 pds in a week????? Wow!!!!! Guess I'll have to burn off 500 calories a day at the gym and watch my calorie intake again. Im not really depressed at my weight gain because I know in a month, I'll be thinner anyways. I guess thats one benefit of living in a state where i dont know anyone: no one to notice my weight gain LOL ;)

I want to be 20-30 pds lighter by July 10th. That gives me almost 3 months. Thats about 7-10 pds a month I have to lose to achieve that goal. Its do-able!!!! :)

Well, I should get my laundry started. Need some fresh clothes and the best part is, they're not gonna smell like smoke later!!! YAYYYY!! :D


Okay, gotta go!!!

~Jamie~

Day 3 (Part 2) I messed up..kinda

OKay, so I totally need to be honest with myself and this diary (blog), so here it goes...

its 12:33pm and i just got done taking a few puffs off a CIGAR (not a cig) but the thing is, i NEVER INHALED!! I wanted to be around smoke and feel smoke in my mouth.....but i didnt want the temptation of inhaling (i hate cigars) so that why I took one of those "Black & Mild" cigar thingys (it was in my freezer, i think from my boyfriend a long time ago).

Anyways, Im GLAD i did!!!! I light it up.....felt nothing (no happiness or joy). I sucked the smoke in my mouth and held it there, and then blew it out...YUCKKKKKKK!!!! Tasted like a fuckin ashtray! :-/

I was in my apartment but kinda hanging out the patio door so that i didnt get the smell of cigar all over me and the furniture. Well, too late!! Smoke clings to a person like white-on-rice!!!! I STINK LIKE THE BOTTOM OF AN OVER-USED ASHTRAY!!!!!!!! Is this what i smelled like everyday i was a smoker??? If so, how in the world could people be around me and with this stench?? Its amazing how bad the smell is.

I tried to wash my hands of this awful smell and it wont come off!!! Gross!!

Well, I think something positive came from this little experiment: I WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
And i mean that!!!!!

~Jamie~

Edited:
Oh no!!! Im starting to get a headache (which means that nicotene entered me and took up some of my fresh oxygen). Not good. But my WANT to never smoke again is so much stronger, so Im sure I can do this for good now. Just gotta handle the extra shit that i just put my body through as a consequence for my actions. But at least now I know what "1 more puff" is like. ITS LIKE SHIT! IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!! Both physically and mentally. And i didnt even INHALE!!!! I must have breathed it into my body through my nose or something, which is stupid of me to *not* think that i could inhale a little smoke through my nose LOL

Well, lesson learned! :)

Day 3-getting easier..

Day 3

FINALLY!! It's getting a little bit easier not to smoke. It's still hard, and I still think about smoking almost every minute of every day. This is, by far, the toughest *mental* challenge I've ever had take on in my life. But I'm doing okay. :)

I dont have that "high feeling" anymore (kind of miss it, actually! LOL) The cravings are becoming more clear to me. Before, the cravings were 24/7. Now, i can actually tell when im having a craving or not. 1 minute, i'll be fine...then the next, i'll get an image of smoking in my head and my body starts to crave it. But i just take REALLY deep breathe breaths and drink some water, pop in some hard candy or gum and then within a minute or two, the craving passes. Yayyyyy!! 1 less craving, 1 more badge of honour :D (wear your beat-cravings as a badge of honour!!)

Now, I do wanna stress something (for those smokers reading this), i found this on that quit smoking site( Quitnet.com ) :

Slips VS Relapses
---------------------
Slips= when you give in to a craving and have a few puffs or a whole cigeratte.
Relapses=when you give in and start smoking more and more (alot more than just 1 cig!).

When you have a "Slip", DONT GET HARD ON YOURSELF!!!!!! That will make you relapse!!!!!
Find out WHY you slipped, and prevent it from happening again. You should feel a little quilt of course, but only for a few minutes and then BECOME STRONGER and wiser on what made you almost fail. Use a "slip" at as learning experince.

Now, the only thing I didnt like about "Slips" is that it almost gives a craving smoker a good excuse to try that "1 more cig" or "just 3 or 4 more puffs and i'll be done"......

SLIPS ARE NOT EXCUSES FOR YOU TO TRY "JUST 1 MORE CIG"!!!
And remember, your first time smoking didnt make you a "smoker", and neither will 1 "slip". So, get back on track and KEEP going (you dont have to start over from a "slip" but it will be harder to kick your habit).

Okay, back to me now lol

Yesterday, I wanted to go out to eat at a Resturant. I wanted to throw myself in a situation of "the real world", with smoke and smokers around me. So, me and the boyfriend got there, and they only had a table in the SMOKING SECTION lol i thought "greatttttt.....this is going to be a real test for me!"

I spent a few seconds looking around, seeing packs of cigerattes on tables, and ashtrays laying around. Somehow, it didnt bother me, to be honest. Not one bit. :)

The only thing that honestly came to my mind was "a pack of cigs looks like someones "crutch" "
It was weird to think that. I've been using a crutch all these years........wow! :
Anyways, so we get a waitress who turned out to be a complete bitch. My boyfriend just said "Oh boy..." , as if to say "you pissed off the wrong bitch!" LOL :P

This waitress was rude and dumb. She refilled my boyfrineds drink, but not mine (even though our empty glasses were at the edge of the table together), she "forgot" my nacho cheese for my dinner and brough it out 5 mins later as my food got cold..how long could it take to grab some nacho cheese?? Come onnnnn.....

Then, in the middle of us eating our food, she comes up to us and says "You guys need boxes??" i was like "Umm...what?? We're still eating!!!!!" I mean, we had food in our mouths and hands LOL We were clearly eating.

THEN, she comes back a minute later with our check.......THE WRONG CHECK! She gave us some other tables check. Then, she comes back and gives us OUR check....BUT the check had 3 cokes and 1 coffee added to our bill, which we never got. Oh, and she told us to "pay at the cashier".

So, my boyfriend told her the check is wrong, she goes and fixes it, i take the check up to the cashier and no one is there. I stop another waitress and ask if i could be rung up. She said "you're waitress is supposed to cash you out, not you." I was like "well, she told us to pay at the cashier"....the waitress looked shocked and grabbed my check and said "who was your waitress??" and at the same time, the bitch-waitress of mine comes up and says "I'll take care of it!" and frantically grabs my check and money out of my hands.

When she came back with the change, she said "have a good week." and i simply replied "fuck off." :)

That was a true test of my nerves and patience and i passed! :D Yayyyyyyyyy! lol Okay, this is enough for one day. I'll write back tomorrow.

~Jamie~

Day 2--harder than i thought..

its Day 2:

last night was the worst night of "sleep" i've ever got. I was tossing, and turning, itching, and i had this urge to kick my legs (as if i was a toddler on the floor throwing a hissy-fit). I eventually switched from sleeping the bedroom to sleeping on the couch. I was so frustrated that I went to bed at 1am, and at 4am, i was still awake. I started to punch my pillows, that actually helped!!

after that, i slept pretty good. but it took a few hours. (i slept in till 11am).

Today is going by SOOOOOOOOOO SLOWWWWWWWWWW ...arghhhhhh :( I can feel the minutes just slowly creeping by.....1 min............1 min and 2 seconds............1 min and 5 seconds......DOH!!!!!!!! This is going to be a longggg fucking day!

Im still seriously considering having a cig. or just a "puff".....but i dont wanna waste all my hard work up to this point:

*1 day, 13 hours, 27 minutes and 5 seconds smoke free.
*47 cigarettes not smoked.
*$5.25 saved
*8 hours of your life saved.

(thats from that Quitnet.com site)

And i know that just ONE HIT will make my cravings so much more worse.

*stops typing and goes outside on patio*

OKay, i just spent a few minutes on my patio, taking DEEP breathes of clean, fresh air, and ex-haling the same way i used to exhale smoke, to give me the feeling as if i was smoking. But i never did :)

You know what amazes me? My senese of smell! I got it back! lol I can smell fresh grass, even fresh RAIN!!! i can smell everything now. and my taste buds are going wild. they are exploding with new tastes. Now i know how people who stop smoking, gain weight LOL

So, i'm going to workout at my gym, 5 days a week (like i started to do), and just keep losing weight and being smoke free. And since i just saved myself $140 a month, the gym's $50 membership fee doesnt seem so pricey anymore!

I think with me quitting smoking, and working out at the gym 5 days a week, im going to become a BRAND NEW PERSON!!!!!!!! Im going to look good, feel great, be in my BEST HEALTH EVER, and im going to smell so much better lol (well, maybe not as im working out :P hahaha).

A brand new me, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Jamie~

Day 1-Quit Day

I decided to stop smoking at midnight so that i could sleep for a good 8 hours and count those easy smoke-free hours as my own. (mind game kinda thing, i guess)

When i first got up, i was afraid to get out of bed and see all my ashtrays all over my place, and my last pack of cigs on my couch (with 2 cigs left in it).

So, i hurried up and grabbed a plastic bag, went around my apartment and took every ashtray and dumped them out, then put them in the plastic bag, and threw the sealed-up bag deep into my closet. Then i threw out all the trash around the house (oops! i did forget the bedroom trash, i'll have to get that out tonight), i dont wanna smell or see any cigs or ashes. OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND! :)

The first hour awake without a smoke was HELL!!!!!!!! I mean, hell!!! I wanted to give up so bad, I just wanted "one more cig"......and then i'd quit again.....NO .....NO......i must not smoke. Remember, "theres no such thing as just ONE MORE CIG"..........i must keep reminding myself of that.

The 2nd hour was worse than the 1st hour. I started to feel withdrawls (got really anxious, my legs started to shake, i was really nervous-like).

After that, it wasnt hell, but it was HARD. Every minute of today, I have thought about having a cig.

About 1/2 way through my day, I started to feel VERY tired and fatigued. And at one point, i layed down in bed and took a nap, but my body kept shaking me awake from time to time, so i didnt sleep very well.

I was going to go to the gym (im actually typing all of this in my gym clothes, ready to go), but i am WAY too dizzy and tired to drive or walk on a treadmil tonight. Im very dizzy right now. Not sure why, I never knew that this could be a side effect. I almost feel high, like I just smoked a joint or something (which, for the record, I am drug-free. just talking from past experinces).

I have now been smoke free for 19 1/2 hours now.....wow!!! If i can make it for 6 more hours, this will be my most successful attempt ever. I once went 26 hours without a smoke, then i broke down and had one. That all happend last year.

MY HONEST THOUGHTS & FEELINGS:
----------------------------------------------
I really think Im going to fail, not at quiting, but at smoking a cig. tonight.
I probably should have got something to help me with this, like the patch or nicorette gum.
I'm craving nicotene (not the actual smoking). Im really tempted to light up a cig and just take 2-3 hits and then thow it away and be done. But I dont want my body to get that "fix". So im trying to resist, but i feel like I cant even BREATHE right. I try to take really deep breaths, and it hurts. My heart and lungs hurt. I guess thats from the 12 yrs of smoking, then 1 day of NOT smoking, taking its toll on me. And im still very dizzy & lightheaded and tired (like i said, i feel like im high).

I found this GREAT website that is helping me out (thank god its free!), its:

Quitnet.com

its a really helpful site, it tells me how many days/hours i've been smoke free, how many hours have been added to my life, how much money i've saved, etc etc. pretty cool.

Anyways, im gonna get going.

Who i am..

Hey, Im Jamie.

Im a 24 yr old female from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I have been a smoker for 12 yrs now. And its time I stopped!!

I'm not married but I live with my boyfriend of almost 6 yrs now (off and on), and we dont have any kids, thank god. I always tell him that hes hard enough to take care of, and hes my "kid", a really big kid. *lol*

But I have always told people (friends and family), "Oh, i'll stop smoking when/if i get pregnant someday." So i started to think about that, and, NO!!! IM STOPPING NOW, FOR ME!!!

I'm tired of smelling like smoke, paying $40 a carton a week, tired of getting bronchitis every year, tired of it having a grip on me and my life for over 12 yrs now!! IM TIRED OF SMOKING.....PERIOD!!!!!!

So, I'm going to keep this Blog as my journal of my experience. I'll be honest with every post, and i'll be truthful to myself 100%. I hope this blog will help others out in a positive way.

~Jamie~