Day 3 (Part 2) I messed up..kinda

OKay, so I totally need to be honest with myself and this diary (blog), so here it goes...

its 12:33pm and i just got done taking a few puffs off a CIGAR (not a cig) but the thing is, i NEVER INHALED!! I wanted to be around smoke and feel smoke in my mouth.....but i didnt want the temptation of inhaling (i hate cigars) so that why I took one of those "Black & Mild" cigar thingys (it was in my freezer, i think from my boyfriend a long time ago).

Anyways, Im GLAD i did!!!! I light it up.....felt nothing (no happiness or joy). I sucked the smoke in my mouth and held it there, and then blew it out...YUCKKKKKKK!!!! Tasted like a fuckin ashtray! :-/

I was in my apartment but kinda hanging out the patio door so that i didnt get the smell of cigar all over me and the furniture. Well, too late!! Smoke clings to a person like white-on-rice!!!! I STINK LIKE THE BOTTOM OF AN OVER-USED ASHTRAY!!!!!!!! Is this what i smelled like everyday i was a smoker??? If so, how in the world could people be around me and with this stench?? Its amazing how bad the smell is.

I tried to wash my hands of this awful smell and it wont come off!!! Gross!!

Well, I think something positive came from this little experiment: I WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
And i mean that!!!!!

~Jamie~

Edited:
Oh no!!! Im starting to get a headache (which means that nicotene entered me and took up some of my fresh oxygen). Not good. But my WANT to never smoke again is so much stronger, so Im sure I can do this for good now. Just gotta handle the extra shit that i just put my body through as a consequence for my actions. But at least now I know what "1 more puff" is like. ITS LIKE SHIT! IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!! Both physically and mentally. And i didnt even INHALE!!!! I must have breathed it into my body through my nose or something, which is stupid of me to *not* think that i could inhale a little smoke through my nose LOL

Well, lesson learned! :)