Day 1-Quit Day
I decided to stop smoking at midnight so that i could sleep for a good 8 hours and count those easy smoke-free hours as my own. (mind game kinda thing, i guess)
When i first got up, i was afraid to get out of bed and see all my ashtrays all over my place, and my last pack of cigs on my couch (with 2 cigs left in it).
So, i hurried up and grabbed a plastic bag, went around my apartment and took every ashtray and dumped them out, then put them in the plastic bag, and threw the sealed-up bag deep into my closet. Then i threw out all the trash around the house (oops! i did forget the bedroom trash, i'll have to get that out tonight), i dont wanna smell or see any cigs or ashes. OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND! :)
The first hour awake without a smoke was HELL!!!!!!!! I mean, hell!!! I wanted to give up so bad, I just wanted "one more cig"......and then i'd quit again.....NO .....NO......i must not smoke. Remember, "theres no such thing as just ONE MORE CIG"..........i must keep reminding myself of that.
The 2nd hour was worse than the 1st hour. I started to feel withdrawls (got really anxious, my legs started to shake, i was really nervous-like).
After that, it wasnt hell, but it was HARD. Every minute of today, I have thought about having a cig.
About 1/2 way through my day, I started to feel VERY tired and fatigued. And at one point, i layed down in bed and took a nap, but my body kept shaking me awake from time to time, so i didnt sleep very well.
I was going to go to the gym (im actually typing all of this in my gym clothes, ready to go), but i am WAY too dizzy and tired to drive or walk on a treadmil tonight. Im very dizzy right now. Not sure why, I never knew that this could be a side effect. I almost feel high, like I just smoked a joint or something (which, for the record, I am drug-free. just talking from past experinces).
I have now been smoke free for 19 1/2 hours now.....wow!!! If i can make it for 6 more hours, this will be my most successful attempt ever. I once went 26 hours without a smoke, then i broke down and had one. That all happend last year.
MY HONEST THOUGHTS & FEELINGS:
----------------------------------------------
I really think Im going to fail, not at quiting, but at smoking a cig. tonight.
I probably should have got something to help me with this, like the patch or nicorette gum.
I'm craving nicotene (not the actual smoking). Im really tempted to light up a cig and just take 2-3 hits and then thow it away and be done. But I dont want my body to get that "fix". So im trying to resist, but i feel like I cant even BREATHE right. I try to take really deep breaths, and it hurts. My heart and lungs hurt. I guess thats from the 12 yrs of smoking, then 1 day of NOT smoking, taking its toll on me. And im still very dizzy & lightheaded and tired (like i said, i feel like im high).
I found this GREAT website that is helping me out (thank god its free!), its:
Quitnet.com
its a really helpful site, it tells me how many days/hours i've been smoke free, how many hours have been added to my life, how much money i've saved, etc etc. pretty cool.
Anyways, im gonna get going.
When i first got up, i was afraid to get out of bed and see all my ashtrays all over my place, and my last pack of cigs on my couch (with 2 cigs left in it).
So, i hurried up and grabbed a plastic bag, went around my apartment and took every ashtray and dumped them out, then put them in the plastic bag, and threw the sealed-up bag deep into my closet. Then i threw out all the trash around the house (oops! i did forget the bedroom trash, i'll have to get that out tonight), i dont wanna smell or see any cigs or ashes. OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND! :)
The first hour awake without a smoke was HELL!!!!!!!! I mean, hell!!! I wanted to give up so bad, I just wanted "one more cig"......and then i'd quit again.....NO .....NO......i must not smoke. Remember, "theres no such thing as just ONE MORE CIG"..........i must keep reminding myself of that.
The 2nd hour was worse than the 1st hour. I started to feel withdrawls (got really anxious, my legs started to shake, i was really nervous-like).
After that, it wasnt hell, but it was HARD. Every minute of today, I have thought about having a cig.
About 1/2 way through my day, I started to feel VERY tired and fatigued. And at one point, i layed down in bed and took a nap, but my body kept shaking me awake from time to time, so i didnt sleep very well.
I was going to go to the gym (im actually typing all of this in my gym clothes, ready to go), but i am WAY too dizzy and tired to drive or walk on a treadmil tonight. Im very dizzy right now. Not sure why, I never knew that this could be a side effect. I almost feel high, like I just smoked a joint or something (which, for the record, I am drug-free. just talking from past experinces).
I have now been smoke free for 19 1/2 hours now.....wow!!! If i can make it for 6 more hours, this will be my most successful attempt ever. I once went 26 hours without a smoke, then i broke down and had one. That all happend last year.
MY HONEST THOUGHTS & FEELINGS:
----------------------------------------------
I really think Im going to fail, not at quiting, but at smoking a cig. tonight.
I probably should have got something to help me with this, like the patch or nicorette gum.
I'm craving nicotene (not the actual smoking). Im really tempted to light up a cig and just take 2-3 hits and then thow it away and be done. But I dont want my body to get that "fix". So im trying to resist, but i feel like I cant even BREATHE right. I try to take really deep breaths, and it hurts. My heart and lungs hurt. I guess thats from the 12 yrs of smoking, then 1 day of NOT smoking, taking its toll on me. And im still very dizzy & lightheaded and tired (like i said, i feel like im high).
I found this GREAT website that is helping me out (thank god its free!), its:
Quitnet.com
its a really helpful site, it tells me how many days/hours i've been smoke free, how many hours have been added to my life, how much money i've saved, etc etc. pretty cool.
Anyways, im gonna get going.
posted by Baba @ 5:23 PM
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